You can not get drunk on a schedule without being aggressive about it. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just busy.
You can not get drunk on a schedule without being aggressive about it. I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just busy.
One day, in the not-too-distant future, it will be a rule of thumb that if you haven't had your first gray hair yet, you're too young to become a parent.
There is a different between "having kids" and "becoming a parent." Anyone can have kids. But becoming a parent is a staged metamorphosis, and very few people ever truly complete the transition. And the ironic thing is, those that do are usually too late.
And the REALLY ironic thing is, you don't necessarily have to have kids to start becoming a parent. The first few stages of the transition are eventually heaved upon everyone at some point in their lives, even if they've never had or even wanted children.
It's kind of like compulsory 12-step program. Or 7-step program, as the case may be.
1. Realize that you are not as mature as you could be.
2. Understand that finding maturity will lead to greater happiness.
3. Shed fear, pride, and anger.
4. Identify the priorities in your life.
5. Live according to those priorities.
6. Practice sacrificing short-term gratification for long-term happiness and well-being.
7. Recognize the stages of others, and guide them accordingly.
Many people have kids before step 1. Some make it all the way to step 7. The ideal time is somewhere between steps 3 and 4.
release me from this summer hell
as only autumn could
and let me drown in sights and smells
of burning skies and wood
Activist subway performer with acoustic guitar sings The Police's “Spirits in the material world.”
Middle-aged man waiting for the train joins in with backing vocals to Madonna's tune of vaguely similar name.
Young Hispanic girls dance & clap along.
Some commuters look on in amusement, others in disgust.
29 losing scratch-off game cards discarded on the seat next to mine.
Nature, explaining to The Mother, how things are going to work between her & The Child.
Nature
"You have sort of a symbiotic relationship at first, but then eventually The Child becomes independent, and eventually goes through the same process herself and she becomes The Mother."
The Mother
"Sounds good, sounds good. So, uh, how do I spawn this thing? Do I like, divide or something? And how do we manifest the symbiosis, exchange enzymes for a few years or something?"
Nature
"Ok. So this is how it works. She grows inside you for like nine months."
The Mother
"Inside me? Like inside me where?"
Nature
"Uhh around your abdominal region."
The Mother
"How does she get out?"
Nature
"Yes I was getting to that. You go through a process called "labor" which concludes with her exit from your body."
The Mother
"Are you serious? Alright, well I guess it gets better after that. Then what?"
Nature
"Then, now within her own small body, she begins to grow and mature. She will demand your attention as she does so, requiring constant training and disciplining, while also latching onto you, physically, periodically for sustenance. But that part only last a couple of years."
The Mother
"Oh thank god. And then what, I guess I get to demand her attention and care for a couple of years?
Nature
"No no, I meant the *physical sustenance* part only last a couple of years. You'll still have to train, discipline, and materially provide for her for the next 30 years or so."
The Mother
"You know, this is sounding more like a parasitic relationship than a symbiotic one."
Nature
"Well if you want to get *technical* I guess..."
The Mother
"No this is bullshit. Figure something else out, I'm not going along with this."
Nature
"But there's more!"
The Mother
"More for me?"
Nature
"Yes!"
The Mother
"This better be good."
Nature
"It is! You see, in spite of all this giving, all of this providing, all of this sacrificing that you, as The Mother will endure, you will actually feel as happy and fulfilled as The Child herself while you're doing it, because, *you will absolutely love her*."
