Setting: Male & female colleagues chatting over lunch in the office cafeteria.
Man: Tom was really yelling in the conference room today. You should have seen him, he was pissed. I think some of his staff is actually a bit mad at him for it.
Woman: Good thing he’s not a woman, they’d be furious.
Man: What’s that supposed to mean?
Woman: Being a female boss just carries different weight than being a male boss. You have to be really careful not to over-react to anything or they’ll accuse you of being fragile and emotional for the rest of your career. But when a man is yelling in the conference room, people get a uncomfortable & then get over it, and he’s not thought of much differently or respected any less.
Man: That’s not true, it’s probably just that women actually DO get overly emotional sometimes; it’s just in their hormones, and men don’t have the tolerance for that sort of thing.
Woman: So you don’t think that women are perceived differently than men when they’re being aggressive?
Man: Not at all. Aggression is aggression, and it’s reacted to for what it’s worth. Not for whether it’s a man or a woman.
Woman: Ok. Have you seen that new Tag Body Spray commercial? The one where they’re saying “Warning, Tag body Spray may cause bumps, bruises…”
Man: Oh yeah! And it’s all these chicks that smell the spray and then attack him. That was great.
Woman: Yeah, pretty funny. But what if the roles were reversed? What if it’s a commercial where the woman sprays some perfume on, and all the men in the room literally jump on top her and knock her to the ground. What do you think?
Man: Well I don’t think they’d show something like that, they’d probably just show the men all looking at her and smiling; maybe doing something goofy like walking into something.
Woman: Right. Because it’s immediately disturbing to you to think of a bunch of men jumping on top of a woman. Because when that really does happen, it’s bad news. On the other hand it’s funny to see a bunch of women do that in a commercial because it’s so ludicrous that it would ever really happen.
Man: Well..l doesn't that just go to show you that women are different emotionally?
Woman: What it goes to show you is that society has different expectations of their behavior. You still want to tell me that women’s actions carry the same weight at men’s actions?
Man: Well that’s ONE example of..
Woman: Yes, just one example of the fact that society has different expectations of men and women, and therefore different thresholds of tolerance for certain actions. Women are supposed to be demure, and subservient, and if a bunch of them threw themselves on top of you it’s obviously to offer themselves to you and be your servant because they would do anything for a sexy Tag body-spray smelling guy like you. Meanwhile it’s disturbing if a man throws himself on top of a woman because it implies he’s demanding the submission of an unwilling partner. When a man yells in the conference room, he’s simply venting his frustration. When a woman yells in the conference room, she’s just a horrible bitch who hates men. She has dared to abandon her subservient position in society as lowly, passive, agreeable Woman, to the point of finding the nerve to actually yell at people.
(Man looks like he wants to say something but doesn't.)
Woman: THAT's why it’s different for women in the workplace. Because for every little mistake, for every emotion dared to be expressed, we lose a little respect. That’s why it’s more difficult to be a female boss than a male one, and that's why there are fewer of us. Personally I think women should intentionally be more aggressive in the workplace. Eventually people will become desensitized to the shocking image of an aggressive woman and society's expectations will even out. That's when you'll start seeing photos of Boards of Directors and Leadership Committees with as many women as men in them, and it ain't because we didn't have the capability before then.
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